Creating ADHD-Friendly Routines: A Mom’s Guide to Success (For You AND Your Child)
Step 1: Start Small and Keep It Simple
As an ADHD mom, it’s easy to get excited about a new routine and dive in head-first. But trust me, it’s better to start small and build gradually. I began with one part of our day that needed the most help—our mornings.
Instead of trying to overhaul our entire routine, I focused on streamlining breakfast, getting dressed, and preparing lunches/backpacks. I broke it down into simple steps:
Wake up.
Get dressed (set out clothes the night before).
Eat breakfast (something easy like cereal or waffles in the air fryer).
Make lunches (prepackaged snacks may cost a little more, but they make all the difference when it comes to saving time).
Check backpacks.
This simplicity was key for me. Having fewer things to think about made it easier to stay on track and avoid the mental overload that often derails me (and my kids).
Step 2: Visual Schedules Work Wonders
As a mom with ADHD, I often forget things, or I get distracted halfway through a task. My child, who also has ADHD, is no different. We needed a visual reminder of what was coming next, especially in the morning when everything is so rushed.
I rely on lists and visual schedules—and they are a lifesaver for both of us. When my kids were little, I used a big whiteboard in our hallway with a list of tasks and a small check box next to each one. Before they could read, I added pictures next to the tasks (like a toothbrush icon for brushing teeth), so it was clear what needed to be done. For me, I make sure it’s simple and uncluttered, with just a few big tasks to check off.
Having a visual guide makes it easier to stay on track without asking, “What’s next?” a million times. It also helps reduce stress and prevents both of us from feeling overwhelmed. If your child gets “lost” or distracted on the way to the list, take the list to them! Post-its on the bathroom mirror can be just as helpful to keep kids on task!
Step 3: Build in Breaks and Flexibility
This might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out: ADHD brains thrive on breaks. Both mine and my child’s ADHD brains need time to reset or recharge, so I make sure there’s built-in flexibility in our routines. This applies especially when it comes to homework or chores.
For example, when my child is doing homework, we’ve learned that taking a 5-minute break every 15 minutes works wonders. During those breaks, it helps to give your mind a break and get up and move! This could mean getting a drink, walking around the house, or even jumping on a mini trampoline. This helps to reset their focus, and it also gives me a moment to breathe and recharge. A word of caution - set a timer for the break and do not engage in something that is hard to put down. Screens are off limits during breaks!
For me, I also need mini-breaks to avoid burnout. If I’m working on a big task, I’ll set a timer for 20 minutes and focus solely on that task. When the timer goes off, I’ll take a quick stretch, grab a snack, or check in with my kids or dogs. This keeps me from feeling bogged down or distracted by other things.
Step 4: Add Fun to the Routine
Routines don’t have to be boring! ADHD brains crave shiny objects, so I make sure to incorporate something fun into our daily routine. For my child, that might mean playing their favorite song during breakfast, having a “dance party” while doing the dishes, or taking our dogs for a walk before homework.
For me, I also make sure to add a little fun to my day. Whether it’s a quick walk around the block, chatting with a friend for 10 minutes, or listening to an audiobook while cleaning, these small moments of joy help me stay motivated and energized throughout the day.
Step 5: Reflect and Adjust as Needed
No routine is set in stone. Life with ADHD is unpredictable, and sometimes routines need to be adjusted. After a few weeks of following a new routine, I check in with myself and my kids. Are we feeling overwhelmed? Are we forgetting things? What’s working, and what’s not?
For example, we once had a routine where my child had to do homework right after school, but they were just too tired and distracted. So, we changed it to later in the evening after a break and a snack. This made a big difference, and we both felt less stressed.
Checking in regularly and being flexible allows us to tweak our routines and make them work better.
Conclusion
Creating ADHD-friendly routines is all about structure, simplicity, and flexibility. As a mom with ADHD, I’ve learned that small, visual, and fun routines can reduce the chaos and help both my child and me thrive. It’s a process, and we’re always adjusting as we go, but taking it one step at a time and allowing room for breaks and flexibility has made a world of difference.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a parent with ADHD (especially if your child has ADHD too), remember that routines don’t need to be perfect to work. They just need to be manageable, and they need to work for your family’s unique needs.
If you need support in creating an ADHD-friendly routine for your family, I’d love to help. Reach out today for personalized ADHD coaching and let’s create a routine that works for you and your child!